A Dad Hurts Too

By Judi Walker

People don’t always see the tears a dad cries,
His heart is broken too when his child dies,
He tries to hold it together and be strong,
Even though his world’s gone wrong,
He holds his wife as her tears fall,
Comforts her through it all,
He goes through his day doing
what he’s supposed to do,
But a piece of his heart has been ripped away,
a Dad hurts too,
So when he’s alone he lets out his pain,
And his tears come like falling rain,
His world has crashed in around him,
And a world that was once bright has gone dim,
He feels he has to be strong for others,
But Dads hurt too, not just the Mothers,
He searches for answers but none are to be found,
He hides behind a mask when he is feeling down,
He smiles through his tears,
He struggles and holds in his fears,
But what you see on the outside is not always real,
Men don’t always show how they really feel,
So I’d like to ask a favor of you,
The next time you see a mother hurting over the loss of her child,
please remember…..a Dad hurts too.

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Dear Mr. Hallmark

Dear Mr. Hallmark, I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.

She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.

She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night.

She plants flowers in my garden, there my
memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth.

She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.

Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.

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I Didn’t Know

I didn’t know how much I wanted you,
I didn’t know how much I care,
I didn’t know how much I’d cry for you,
Till you were no longer there.
I didn’t know my arms could ache,
I didn’t know my soul could tear.
I didn’t know my heart could break,
Till you were no longer there.

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What Makes a Mother

By Jennifer Wasik

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
When your baby’s not with you?
Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there’s no need to stay.
I just don’t understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
“We go to earth and learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow’s where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
“Mommy don’t be sad today
I’m your baby and I’m here.”
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are OK
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they’ll stay.
They’ll wait for you with me
Until your lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They’ll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It’s the feeling in your heart.
It’s the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.

Dearest Mommy,

When you wonder the meaning of life and love,
know that I am with you.
Close your eyes and feel me kissing you in the gentle breeze across your cheek.

When you begin to doubt that you shall ever see me again, quiet your mind and hear me.
I am in the whisper of the heavens speaking of your love.
When you lose your identity and question who you are and where you are going,
Open your heart and see me.

I am the twinkle in the stars smiling down upon you,
lighting the path for your journey.
When you awaken each morning not remembering your dreams but feeling content and serene,

Know that I was with you filling your night with thoughts of me.
When you linger in the remnant pain, wholeness seeming so unfamiliar,
Think of me and know that I am with you, touching you through the shared tears of a gentle friend
Easing the pain.

As the sunrise illuminates the desert sky in the breathtaking glory
Awaken your spirit
Think of our time, all too brief, but ever brilliant.
When you were certain of us, together
When you were certain of your destiny.
Know that God created that moment in time,
Just for us

Dearest Mommy, I am always with you.

————————————————————

The Light

A flame shines in the darkness,
A single, flickering light;
A candle held in memory,
Dispelling the darkness of night.

A candle filled with memories,
It speaks a sweet child’s name;
And shines a light for all to see,
In a single, flickering flame.

Soon other candles join the light,
Then thousands fill the sky;
Illuminating the darkness,
Proving love will never die.

Allison Chambers Coxsey
c2002

Loved ones Gone

An angel sent to bless our lives
a joy to fill our hearts
the blessed child
we’ve longed for
a daughter pure and bright.

But Brynley was denied us,
she passed away too soon
ken back to heaven
leaving us feeling so alone.

Heaven had a need for her
one more star up in the night
to keep the angels company
giving hope for all that’s right.

We mourn the loss we are feeling
a loss that doesn’t go away
but we know she is waiting
we’ll be with her some day.

Our angel, she awaits us
waiting for us to arrive
to join her with our maker
when the time is right.

So patiently we linger
missing her each day
until we hold our Brynley
and are together ever more.

Twins now keep her company
more of our family gone too soon
so we mourn so patiently
for 3 losses that will return.

Happy 3rd angel day.
Brynley JaNell Hamelin

Love,
Mom, Dad, Tyler, Justin, Jaron, Kinsey, & Rylee

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THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

By Terry Kettering

There’s an elephant in the room.

It is large and squatting,
so it is hard to get around it.

Yet we squeeze by with,
“How are you?” and, “I’m fine,”
and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather;
we talk about work;
we talk about everything else—
except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room.

We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant
as we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about
the elephant in the room.

Oh, please, say her name.
Oh, please, say her name again.
Oh, please, let’s talk about
the elephant in the room.

For if we talk about her death,
perhaps we can talk about her life.
Can I say, her name to you
and not have you look away?
For if I cannot,
then you are leaving me alone
in a room—with an elephant.

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My Butterfly

I long to feel the soft weight of you
to welcome you home, with kisses
on silky round cheeks.
Instead my arms ache with the       

weight of your absence,
the empty places that were meant for you
to grow into.
My love for you will last an eternity
My hopes and dreams now carried
on the fragile wings of each butterfly passing
compelling me to pause,
to savor each moment,
each flutter in my heart-
your wings.

- Unknown

I WALK FOR YOU
(Walk to Remember)

Dear Precious little baby,
I walk for you today,
To share with everyone your love,
In this, my special way;
Oh how I wish you were here,
to come and tag along,
For little one, if you were here
The miles would not seem so long.
I know that you would love to see
The many colored balloons;
And you would love to listen to
Lullabies and tunes.
You’d love to see the leaves that fall,
Red, yellow, gold, and brown,
You’d roll and toss around in them,
You’d laugh and jump around.
It is such a lovely time of year
I wish you could have stayed
I waited, oh, so long for you
So many plans I made;
I know that you are happy
Up in Heaven’s lovely land,
And someday we will meet again,
Together walk hand in hand;
Then we can walk together
As I walk for you today,
I want the whole world to know
This is your special day.
It really does not matter,
Winter, spring, summer or fall,
Dear baby, I still think of you,
Each day your love recall;
I had you such a little while,
But in my heart you’ll always stay,
Look down from Heaven, precious baby…
As I take this walk for you today.

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A Candle for Your Child 

Today you will light a little white candle
and say aloud your child’s name.
For one fateful day, your life was changed.
The holidays will never be the same.
Today you will light a little white candle
and hang an ornament on a special tree.
Who would have thought you would be in this place?
Sharing your child as a memory.
Today you will light a little white candle,
a small gesture to some others.
Here we share the pain of our loss,
with Mothers, Fathers, Sisters & Brothers.
Today you will light a little white candle,
and as you gaze into the flame,
may comforting memories flood your mind,
as you proudly say your child’s name.
Today you will light a little white candle,
With us your compassionate friends…
For all of us know that though they’re not here,
our Love for Them NEVER ends.
~ Tammy Tobac

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SPECIAL HANDLING PLEASE

I was handed a package the other day.
It was wrapped securely to be mailed away
Attached to the outside as plain as could be
Was a simple note for all to see.
Please rush through the holiday season;
Too painful to open for any reason.
Contained within, find one broken heart-
Fragile, broken, falling apart.
Tried to go shopping the other day;
The hype of the season blew me away.
Sat down to write cards,
That was insane.
Couldn’t find the list
Or think of my name.
People say,
“Come over, be of good cheer.”
“Celebrate the holidays,
Prepare a New Year.”
But my grief overwhelms me
Like waves in the sea.
Can they cope with my crying,
an unsettled me?
I don’t have any holiday cheer.
Decorations, traditions, big family meal
I can’t do this year.
Do you know how I feel?
Guilty and frustrated!
I’ve let everyone down!
Our holiday celebrations
used to be the best in town.
So just ship me away
Address unknown
When my grief is better
I might fly home.

Written by: Mary J. Pinkava

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“Sometimes miracles arrive so tiny
That we cannot feel the weight of them-
And yet we are still changed,
And we are blessed none the less…”

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Grief

You don’t get over it
You just get through it
You don’t get by it
Because you can’t get around it
It doesn’t just “get better”
It just gets different
Every day…
Grief puts on a new face.

Wendy Feiereisen
Grief ©2005®

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A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam
and for a brief moment its glory
and beauty belong to our world.
But then it flies again
And though we wish it could have stayed…
We feel lucky to have seen it.
~Author Unknown~

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What a Grieving Mother Really Thinks
Hello, Old Friend,
Oh, yes, you know
I lost my child a while ago.
No, no please
Don’t look away
And change the subject
It’s ok.
You see, at first I couldn’t feel,
It took so long, but now it’s real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk,
Come sit with me?
You see, I was numb for so very long,
And people said, “My, she is so strong.”
They did not know I couldn’t feel,
My broken heart made all unreal.
But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest, began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail,
Broke from me…
My child! My child!
The horror of reality.
But everyone has moved on, you see,
everyone except for me.
Now, when I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.
My pain is more than they can bear,
When I mention my child,
I see their blank stare.
“But I thought you were over it,”
Their eyes seem to say,
No, no, I can’t listen to this, not today.
So I smile and pretend, and say, “Oh, I’m ok”.
But inside I am crying, as I turn away.
And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All I’ve just said to you in my heart.
~Kelly Cummings

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“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart. I’ll always be with you.”
~ Winnie the Pooh (A.A. Milne)

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“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.”

For My Little Man

By Toni R. Dursteler
Small little hands,
Dainty little feet,
A face like and angel
You look so sweet.

A song from a bird,
You never will hear,
Nor the scent of a flower,
Or the taste of a tear.

The angels in Heaven
Await your pure soul.
But your Daddy and Mommy,
Wished for our role.

We would love to keep you
On earth as you see,
But since we truly do love you,
Tis better to set you free.

My Little Man Deke,
Know this is true,
Forever and ever,
We will love you.

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Angels are Forever

We were chosen to become the family of a very special child.
Who would come to earth from Heaven and visit for a while.
There are mothers who give birth to babies,
too good for this world of men.

They touch our lives for a moment, then travel Home again.
This was to become our destiny. And, Why? We need not know.
For a parents greatest gift is to nurture and love a child with a perfect soul.

Our baby was born an Angel and stopped to pause this way,
Blessing us with sunshine, as we thanked the Lord each day.
Our child was like a ray of perfection and could not journey long,
The source of power being God Himself, quietly called our Angel Home.

As we walk in Springtime meadows, with nature posing all around,
We see the beauty of our little one in every sight and sound.

Whenever I gaze at this beautiful world, or look at a blue sky above,
I know that Angels are Forever
Warming our hearts with their light and love.

Author unknown

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Always remember, you have within you the
strength, the patience, and the passion to
reach for the stars.
~ Harriet Tubman

  

My Angel Princess

Charity Angelia Smith

Lyrics By: Robb Smith

My angel princess, my fallen star,

Though I can’t see you I know where you are.

Jesus has suffered the price for our pains.

Our hurt refines us, ‘tis never in vain.

Our angel’s miracles are not mountains moved,

Walking on water, or healing her wounds.

Our angel’s miracle is much greater still:

Our hearts are changing; we love Father’s will.

Daughter of God; Creature of light;

Valiant and lovely but just out of sight.

Father has given us a bend in our road.

He knows the only way to lead us back home.

Go now, fair daughter.  Leave mortal pain.

Sing His glad tidings ‘till we meet again.

We’ll wait to bring you up to raise up your own

Fair sons and daughters to sing at His throne.

You’ve filled your mission.  You’ve passed your test.

Now your fair body we lay down to rest.

It is for us now to labor in love

‘Till all our family can join you above.

Daughter of God; Creature of light;

Valiant and lovely but just out of sight.

Father has given us a bend in our road.

He knows the only way to lead us back home.

Our little family will miss you today,

But that great morning is not far away

When we will hold you in your perfect form.

Death, pain, and sorrow will then be no more.

Father of lights, Lover of man,

My angel daughter: a gift from Thy Hand.

Help me, dear Father. Give strength from above

To be found worthy of Thy gift of Charity.

Daughter of God; Creature of light;

Valiant and lovely but just out of sight.

Father has given us a bend in our road.

He knows the only way to lead us back home.

To listen to this song, visit myangelprincess.blogspot.com

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“Sometimes miracles arrive
so tiny that we cannot feel
the weight of them –
and yet we are still changed,
and we are blessed none the less…”

———————————————————————————————–

I DIDN’T KNOW

I didn’t know how much I wanted you,
I didn’t know how much I care,
I didn’t know how much I’d cry for you,
Till you were no longer there.

I didn’t know my arms could ache,
I didn’t know my soul could tear.
I didn’t know my heart could break,
Till you were no longer there.

———————————————————————————————–

Don’t Ask Me
Please, don’t ask me if I’m over it yet
I’ll never be over it
Please, don’t tell me she’s in a better place
She isn’t with me
Please, don’t say at least she isn’t suffering
I haven’t come to terms with why she had to suffer at all
Please, don’t tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a child
Please, don’t ask me if I feel better
Bereavement isn’t a condition that clears up
Please, don’t tell me at least you had her for some time
What year or day would you choose for your child to die?
Please, don’t tell me God never gives us more than we can bear
Please, just tell me you are sorry
Please, just say you remember my child, if you do
Please, just let me talk about my child
Please, mention my child’s name
Please, just let me cry.

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Ask My Mom How She Is”

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before
But from now until she dies,
She’ll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
And because she can’t explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can’t describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how she is,
She’ll say “I’m alright.”
If that’s the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night ?
Ask my Mom how she is
She seems to cope so well,
She didn’t have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
“I’m fine, I’m well, I’m coping.”
For God’s sake Mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken
She’ll love me all her life
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She’ll lie and say she’s fine.
I am here in Heaven
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don’t listen
Hug her and hold her near. On the day we meet again,
We’ll smile and I’ll be bold.
I’ll say,
“You’re lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!”

          ~ Author Unknown

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God’s Play Room

There’s a room full of angels
that we cannot see.
God gives them His toys
that they now play with glee.

They all play so nicely
each toy they will share.
Their angelic laughter
and joy fill the air.

Although we can’t touch them
or hear what they say,
If we watch and we listen
we’ll see them at play.

The warmth of the sun
at the breaking of dawn,
The smell in the air
of a freshly cut lawn.

The rain as it pours
and dances around.
The sparkle of snow
as it covers the ground.

The musical notes
of an early bird’s song,
The ripple of water
cascading along.

The opening bud
of a soft, fragrant flower,
It’s delicate closing
at dusks evening hour.

Wind rustling leaves
causing branches to sway,
The twinkle of stars
as night changes from day.

Thunder and lightening,
His most impish tools.
Bring showers and hail
in glistening pools.

But our arms are quite empty
and aching to hold,
Alone they have left us,
alone we grow old.

Although we can’t see them,
those ones we hold dear.
When they play with His toys,
we know they are near.

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR CHLOE FAITH PRICE
JULY 21, 2006-JULY 21, 2011.

We miss you so much when your sisters, brother and cousins play together in Grammy’s play room, but we know you are there playing around us every day.

Love, Grammy and Uncle Kent